Partly Facetious: King George V changed the family's name

"Are Khawaja Asif and Khawaja Saad Rafiq related?"
"Well, technically I guess you are right... I mean they are both Kashmiris and Kashmiris can find common roots with each other even if they have to go back centuries, you know it's like members of your royal family, the House of Windsor, with the core group consisting of closely knit family members but many not close at all given that the family history dates back centuries..."
"Just for your information, King George V changed the family's name from Wettin, a German name, to Windsor on 17 July 1917 because during the First World War there was such anti-German sentiment... anyway do you think because of this Panama leaks Maryam may start to reuse her husband's name again?"
"If you think her dad is on the way out you are wrong. Mian sahib is our Putin... you can throw as much dirt on him as you want but at the end of the day if other parties are with him then he will survive."
"Putin got dirt thrown from outside the country Mian sahib is having to deal with dirt thrown from within."
"There is that, I mean the Khan is all out for some accountability and..."
"Excuse me, but when I said from within I was referring to his three children, including Maryam and..."
"Oh no, stop that, they are family, and they did nothing wrong and they have business acumen that rivals Trump's..."
"Trumps dad left a million for him and he simply multiplied it."
"That's not a fact, I mean no one is sure how much he inherited and neither are we with respect to the inheritance of the Sharif children."
"Maybe you should join Pakistani politics....our sitting governments accuse opposition leaders of murder and corruption and want them to say sorry to the nation not take them to court."
"Don't be facetious."